Open Letter: A Year and a Half of Silence — And Still No Justice

For the past 18 months, I’ve been denied the basic right to see my son.

Not because I’m a danger. Not because I’ve abandoned him. Not because I’ve failed to show up.

I’ve been denied because the Maryland family court system refuses to enforce its own orders—and the person violating them knows they’ll never face consequences.

In early 2023, I was granted regular, court-ordered parenting time with my son Dylan. Since then, I have:

• Sent dozens of written confirmations ahead of each visit

• Driven 30 minutes each way, week after week

• Shown up at the designated exchange locations on time

• Waited alone—no child, no co-parent, no explanation

I’ve done everything the court told me to do. But it hasn’t mattered.
Christina, my ex-wife, has ignored every court order. And the court has done nothing to stop her.

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The Reality Behind the Robe

Maryland is not unique. Across the country, parents—particularly fathers—are experiencing what family law experts now call "paper custody": legal rights granted on paper but denied in practice because courts refuse to enforce them.

According to the National Parents Organization, over 35% of noncustodial parents report being denied court-ordered parenting time, and in 80% of those cases, the court took no action to remedy it.

Dr. Linda Nielsen, a professor at Wake Forest University who has studied father involvement for over 30 years, warns that “when courts fail to enforce visitation orders, they not only damage the parent-child bond, they enable long-term psychological harm to children deprived of meaningful contact.”

It’s not just neglect—it’s institutional betrayal.

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When the Court Looks Away

I filed motions for contempt. I submitted messages, call logs, and photos proving I had tried to comply. The response? Silence. Denials. Deferrals.

No judge would enforce the order.

The family court claims to act “in the best interest of the child,” but what interest is served when a fit and loving parent is erased from a child’s life?

Let me be clear: this is not a custody dispute. That decision was already made. This is about enforcement. About a court allowing one parent to break the law without consequence, while the other parent is forced to chase justice like a dog chasing a parked car.

And it’s not just emotionally devastating—it’s financially and physically draining. I’ve driven hundreds of miles and spent thousands of dollars trying to see my own child, while the system lets my co-parent disregard the law.

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The Cost of Erasure

The effects of parent-child separation caused by courts are well-documented:

• Children alienated from one parent are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and identity issues later in life (Kelly & Johnston, 2001).

• Lack of father involvement is strongly associated with lower academic achievement, increased behavioral problems, and higher dropout rates (Harvard University Center on the Developing Child, 2016).

• Courts that fail to enforce parenting orders send a message to children that one parent is disposable—which may inflict long-term psychological damage.

This isn’t just about my rights. It’s about Dylan’s right to have both of his parents involved in his life. And about the dangerous precedent that’s being set when a court refuses to act.

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A System That Protects Itself

Why does this happen?

Because family courts have too much discretion, too little oversight, and are shielded by a system that often values compliance with bureaucracy over compliance with law.

Because many judges, attorneys, and custody evaluators profit from conflict, delay, and forced mediation—while parents like me go broke trying to stay in their child’s life.

Because no one in power wants to talk about how custody violations are rarely enforced, while child support violations often result in wage garnishment or jail.

As Professor Stephen Baskerville, author of Taken Into Custody, once said:

“Family courts have become not only a place of justice but a place of control—where power, not law, determines outcomes.”

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My Line in the Sand

This open letter is both a record and a reckoning.

It’s a record of 18 months of willful denial.
A record of judicial inaction.
A record of the toll it takes on a father and a son.

But it’s also a reckoning—for a system that claims to protect families but in practice often dismantles them.

I will continue to document each violation. I will pursue every legal and civil rights avenue available. I will tell this story until it can’t be ignored anymore.

But more than anything, I want Dylan to know:
I never stopped trying. The system failed us. I didn’t.

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Michael Phillips is a father, writer, and advocate for parental rights and court reform. He is the founder of Father & Co. and the REBUILT Justice Project.
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